I agree with
@HolySchmidt - 32 GB is enough.
VAM casually eating 32 GB isn't normal - at least not initially. After a long session and loading a bunch of scenes perhaps.
Maybe you have some 'rogue' asset / (session) plugin loading stuff to your RAM?
Or maybe try to remove a bunch of var's from AddonPackges to a temporary folder and then restart to see if it improves.
For me having a huge pile of assets installed just increases the initial load time - but not RAM consumption (At least not by a relevant amount).
I do have 64 GB RAM, but for other reasons. For normal use of VAM it's not needed at all.
No matter how much RAM you have - it is possible to crash VAM by loading new(!) content over and over.
(I've tried to crash it on purpose. The 'stress' test scenes on VAM Hub with many models managed to crash it - 64 GB was maxed out and it just frooze)
my experience:
RAM
8 GB - barely runs, expect it to crash
16 GB - solid, maybe borderline for very complex scenes
32 GB - ideal
64 GB - unnecessary luxus
VRAM
8 GB+ = safe! Never managed to crash VAM by filling up the VRAM. More VRAM will keep more content/textures in memory and the load times are better if you *switch back* to content that was already used.