Virt a Mate might take a bit longer to start when you have a lot of .var files installed, because it's recognizing the files and also reading bunch of other files. But once in the main menu, the installed files shouldn't cause any issues or problems nor slow down Virt A Mate any further.
Once you start a new scene and have a empty space, it won't ask almost anything from your system. Once you started to add assets and characters, then the scene becomes heavier and heavier. With each assets and character you add, you will see a loading bar or VaM just freezes and loads in the files you just added to your scene.
Do you have the same issue if you are in the main menu? Do you also have this issue with older scene's that where working perfect before? Or do you only have this issue in some certain scene's? You say that you have this in every scene, so this issue can also be caused by something outside VaM. Also try to load in a empty scene, see what it does.
This issue can be caused by so many things.
My VaM directory is 579 GB big and contains 142.276 files. It launch in half a minute and I never used more then 20GB to 22gb of memory. I also have VaM directory installed on a external SSD. Since I re-install my computer once per 3 months, I love to keep Windows clean, like having a shower after rolling around in a pool of mud.
I will be honest, I had some issue's when I had 16gb ddr4 memory on 3000mhz. Sometimes it would randomly crash, but everything was still running smooth. Unless I added more then 3 characters to my scene, or use big environments, insane lot of assets and more then 4 lighting points.
Now I have 32gb ddr5 on 6000mhz, And I never had a crash anymore, I also rarely use more then 20gb to 22gb of memory.
Right now I loaded in one of the most heaviest scene's I have, with 4 characters loaded in, tons of assets with a very heavy environment and maximum lights. My memory didn't go higher as around 22gb.
Processor is only 18% in use, memory 70% in use but my RTX 4080 is constantly 100% in use. I also have Discord, Steam, Spotify and Wallpaper engine running in the backgroud aswell. My VaM is running on the higest settings in 4k. If I close VaM, it goes back to 6.5gb of memory, which is around 20% of my total memory. So , Vam uses around 50 to 55% of my total memory.
I don't even dare to test my scene's in VR, that would get you instant motion sickness.