First thing about VaM, don't think of it as a game. It's creative sandbox software for developing VR experiences. It can be used to simulate sex, however, it has been proven to be much more than this. It's built with this in mind, so it's UI takes a while to get used to.
How much you want to learn is all based on what you want to do with VaM.
First, check out the reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/VAMscenes/
There are some guides here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/VirtAMate/wiki/index
This is a video channel that has a few guides as well:
This channel is dedicated to Virt-A-Mate (VAM) tutorial videos. I had a hard time to master Virt-A-Mate, but once I understood the basics, I was able to impr...
www.youtube.com
Unfortunately, guides are pretty outdated, due to the constantly updating software.
I started by installing version 1.19.2.2 (optional, 1.20 is so much better) and installing Easy Mate IV: (I suggest the Lite version)
Easy Mate has a bunch of tutorials for how to "Play" in VaM.
After I played in Easy Mate for about a week, I started to disect other creators scenes to see what made them tick. This was how I really learn the best way to use VaM, as a creator. In a few months, I have made over 30 scenes. It's all a process that takes time, but now I am somewhat addicted to scene creation. It's just so much fun!
Also, if you are interested take a look at
my FPS guide too, it should still be relevant for the current version.