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Is there a way to make grabbing your own clothing work better while possessing in VR?
Most of the time I try to grab the clothing of the person I'm possessing it doesn't work and I instead grab nothing.
I have not tried this, but a few things come to mind. Make sure clothing is sim enabled and try adjusting the skin join, weight, and gravity settings found in customize /physics tab. Collision editing of hand/finger colliders with the collider editor plugin too.
You can only pull/remove sim clothing, and sim clothing isn't an option for male characters. So assuming you're possessing a male, that's your problem.
Early in VaM's development, the decision was made to skimp on colliders for the male so as to allow higher framerates. That's why sim clothing doesn't work.