VAM as a means of treating mild gynophobia?

[penumbraa]

A fear of women is called gynophobia. A softer variant of it is venustraphobia . Dunno where I got this from but since I can remember I always get this kind of anxiety and this tension in my stomach when I am in a room with women - even the ones I've known for a long time. It's probably also the main issue that makes my relationships end very quickly and pushes me into a chronic single life.

Funnily enough I noticed I get the same feeling even in VR. This made me think that VAM might be useful for exposure therapy - just being there close to normal clothed models and getting myself "used" to this proximity. Practicing eye contact and the like.

What do you think of this?

 

[Acid Bubbles]

I would recommend getting help if you can afford it. The problem with VaM, porn, and any kind of unidirectional media is the objectification of women. This is not just a woke term to say you're not being nice to them, this is a very real behavior where the brain learns to consider other human beings as objects. Similar things happen by association where women become "they" and suddenly have common traits that can be attributed to women because they are women, either because you're in a group that undervalues them, objectify them, or because they simply are absent of your valued social circles.

While I see how this _could_ be part of a therapeutic experiment, I think it's important to figure out the root cause, and also make sure you develop empathy and social behaviors, otherwise you'll get use to women as objects, not as fellow people.

I'm not a psychologist so consider this my two cents, nothing more.

Oh and please do not see that as me saying you're actually doing any of this, I'm only warning about the danger of unconsciously building up behaviors that would hurt you without you knowing.

 

[Joe6Pack]

No offense to the prior poster, but if females didn't want to be objectified, they'd not go out of their way to appeal to men in the way that they do, i.e. red lipstick to imply sexual arousals etc. There is NOTHING wrong with objectifying IMAGES/VR/MOVIES of women as long as in addition to doing that, you treat LIVE females with respect that they MUST in fairness treat you.

Onto my take on your question:
I'm sorry some female in your life disturbed you and gave you this condition, assuming it happened like that based on anime that's pretty much how it gets inflicted.

Much like any phobia, the key to overcoming it is a gradual, controllable, environment that allows for this feeling to be suppressed/eliminated.

VR could indeed help because unless you somehow downloaded a Femdom mod, you'd ALWAYS be in control and she'd either just look at you or make happy sounds as you touched her, assuming you do and eventually should.

Understand this first, this fear was forced on you, but you are not the fear's prisoner unless you allow it. If looking at pictures of fully dressed females stresses you out, this would be even more mentally taxing. However, if you've mastered 2D female viewing, this could work for you.

Lastly, this app, like many, works on the desktop so you can try it there first and then build up to a VR experience.

Peace my brother, females are fun, I wish you luck on your journey to happiness with them.

 

[iLikeSoup]

As someone who suffered from anxiety during my younger years (5-20 y/o), I know that it can have all sorts of negative life effects if left untreated. Thankfully I "grew out of it" I guess. Never got medication or psychological treatment but in retrospect, I kind of wish I had.

But to answer your question and keep this short, I think VR can be of some use in those regards, especially with severe cases.

For example, people with fear of public speaking, they can VR onto a stage and practice. I did this for my 3rd attempt at college level speech course. I used a VR setting that put you on a stage with a room full of people so I could practice my speeches a few times.

To end, I found that being upfront and honest with the other person can go a long ways to building a relationship. Nobody is perfect and we all have flaws.

 

[Acid Bubbles]

@Joe6Pack You might be mixing up the concepts of sexuality, self-perception, and objectification. Do not reduce women's choice of appearance as an appeal to man desire. Anyway, I don't think the legitimate question of the original poster warrants a debate here, and there is enough serious and readily available research on that topic if someone is really interested.

In any case, exposure can certainly be one of the available treatments but I'd again caution against doing yourself a disservice by training yourself with _only_ images of women in perfectly controlled or pornographic environments. There's already something that fires up in your brain when women are involved, knowing what it is will certainly be beneficial to you, especially if it's unconscious. But this is hard to do by yourself.

Again, my two cents. Wishing you the best, and if indeed VaM can help it'd be amazing to hear about it

 

[Williamwow123]

Sounds like social anxiety or self esteem issues, his description sounds a lot how i feel around girls but its not because i place them in a sexual category In my case I had a bad breakup. I blame marriage and traditional dating becoming hookup culture for the objectification of woman. Not sure if he only felt this way after puberties and noticed boobs but this could be applied to either gender, If you feel intimidated by strong/ mean looking men, pretty girls or anything outside your normal. These days when 90% of women only want 10% of men It had become extremally common among younger men to become astringed to girls.

also porn is a great alternative to men who are not able to hook up and might become sexually frustrated and r8p

 

[HolySchmidt]

I'm no psychotherapist, that's just my opinion: I know that fear of heights is nursed with the help/completely in VR. Of course the final step always has to be confronting fear in reality. To make a start I can imagine that VaM can be a help but let's be honest: if you having a phobia you should reach out for professional help. I know your problem somehow but I'm not phobic in any way.

But like I said: if it helps, it can't be wrong. If it's a good thing for you to do, do it.

Regarding objectification and stuff I wanna add this: living in the so called "western industry world" mostly everything is about how you look, how much you earn, how many friends you have and all this superficial shit. If you are kind of a stranger and not a "mainstream" person, you have to hustle. I'm no punk so my anti-mainstream way of thinking isn't obvious, but let's talk and you'll find out pretty quick.
What I wanna say is: women these days are not like women 50 years ago, which is good. Men neither. But it's more and more about "what do you have" and less about "who you are", which could also be rooted in the biology of males and females (of any kind) in general. For example: women mostly want a man who is taller then them. Just one example.

Just be you. Can you take a look in the mirror saying "I like myself the way I am"? Than you're good. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, others will notice. No matter what they think of you

 

[Voithe]

Whoa... let me say that this topic raised a lot my evaluation of this community! Relationship between mens and womens is (and was) always a very wide and complex topic. It's good to see so many users kindly talking about it in respect of each other.

As for the OP question, i agree with HolySchmidt. If you feel almost the same in VR... i think it can be good to face up the problem that way... as a starting point.

Anyway... a professional help is the best choice. Don't tink about it as a thing for "mad\strange peoples"... it's only about how human brain works.

On my side... i have almost an opposite "problem": Seeing a beatiful girl\women make my brain stop working at all... and yes... it happens also in VR. Sometime i start VaM and, after many mins, i realize that the only thing i've done was just watching those beauties from any angle. ???

 

[Williamwow123]

Well in the age of Onlyfans the argument of men objectifying is met by a subscription fee. Instead of getting normal jobs more and more are selling nudes from iPhones effectively making themselves the object of desire that 99% of us will never have.

 

[btacoses]

I have even more mad respect for Acid Bubbles now