VaM 1.x Scene script review

[Aipas]

Finished writing the script for my first Satin story.
English is not my first language and I'm not 100% on some more technical terms I've used. A second pair of eyes could also provide feedback on intelligibility, clarity, pacing, etc.

Anyone up for a quick review?

 

[murn]

I like reading so I'm game. Also if you're not sure about a term or contextual use in another language there's chat gpt that can help with that.

 

[Aipas]

murn provided some much needed feedback, so I'm marking this as "solution".
If someone else wants to read it, just drop a line.