After a couple of recommendations and comments , I have done some cleanup here. First and foremost, I've enabled the softbody physics on the male model which should help with popout problems. Additionally, I've spent a little time in the collider editor on both models which should help with popout problems even more, as well as tame some of the vagina/anus freakout that was happening late in the animation where the penetration angles were especially aggressive. This cleanup also made it so you can turn softbody off for both models (which significantly improves framerate) without seeing more than a little bit of clipping at the vaginal/anal bridge.
Lastly, I've turned off and hidden all other objects besides Patricia and Attom, which should help with any accidental grabs in VR.
Thank you to Virtyourmate, Onionpeeler69, and Tactical for your feedback! I'm always looking for ways to improve scenes, and your comments definitely helped!
